Do you know the tune of “If I Were a Bell” from Guys and Dolls? The lyrics below are rewritten to fit them.
This goes out to all of the people who ever made fun of me for my lack of tech-savvy, and to all those who encouraged me to give the internet a chance. Share this with friends.
Ask me how do I feel, now that I have the courage to try-y— Well, sir, all I can say is that now I’m in love with my wifi: From the moment I got hooked up And the webpages started to load You can’t imagine what I looked up When I suddenly had the code! Found a purpose to life, even though I didn’t know I was looking, Now from morning to night, I can spend all my time just facebooking! On my profile page I’m no longer just boring old Mike; On whatever I see, I’ll click like, like, like, like! Tell me what I can learn, tell the luddite who’s slowly networking; Sign me up for that game, ‘cause I know that there’s work to be shirking; Give me an OkCupid to browse, From sunset until early morn’ And a torrenting app which allows Me to grab all the very best porn! Ask me how do I feel, ask me now that I own a computer— Well, sir, all I can say is that now I know how to play shooters! I can play on a server without knowing the host; And once I have a blog, I’ll go post, post, post, post, post! Got a paypal account, and there are infinite programs to spend on; Got a gmail account, with so many chain letters to send on; I’m beginning to understand l337, I’ve a youtube clip ready to share And once I have a twitter, I’ll tweet— About what? Well I really don’t care! With my webcam and mic, I meet strangers while I’m chat-rouletting With my status uploaded, I’m so thrilled by the comments I’m getting; When my website is done, I’ll be just too busy to think! But I’ll still spread the word as I link. Link. Link. Link… Link!