Symsup – (sim-sup) – n., int.: Sympathetic support; An expression meaning and demonstrating sympathetic support, to be substituted for “I’m sorry.”
Alright, let’s rap–(or just talk, because I’ve been told I’m not good at rapping): I’m sure many of you, like me, have heard a personal story from a friend that makes you feel bad for that friend. And you, like me, are often tempted to say “I’m sorry.” It makes sense; I don’t fault you for it. After all, it’s a social convention: they say how shitty their day was, you say “I’m sorry,” but more often than not, you are not at all at fault for the shittiness of the day–or, even if you are, you’re more trying to tell that person “you have my sympathy and support” as opposed to “I offer an abject apology because your suffering is completely my fault.” And, if you’re like me, and you have friends who strive for specificity or are such language nerds that they will try to correct your phrasing even at the most inappropriate times, you might run into this:
“[sad story…]”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, no, it’s not your fault.”
“Well, I know; I just feel bad for you.”
Possibly “Thanks” but also possibly “Oh! Now I feel bad that I made you feel bad” or “I don’t want your pity!”
And so on. (Incidentally, Cracked.com rated this scenario #4 of the 6 everyday offfenses that should be punishable by death.)
Hence the need for a new word. Nearly two years ago, I started employing symsup, (which is not Simple Syrup, despite how similar they sound). Symsup is a portmanteau of sympathy and support–with their powers combined, they are Captain Miracle Expression. And it’s catching on. Already, several people I know are using symsup instead of sorry and reporting that it works. Try it (free) today! (Ohmygourd, this sounds like an infomercial…)
Sample scenario: your friend just told you about how he and his girlfriend broke up.
“Dude, symsup.” (Possibly with a comforting hand on the shoulder.)
“Thanks.”
As opposed to…
“Dude, I’m sorry.”
“Why? It’s not your fault. Is it?” or “You should be; it’s your fault.”